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Thinking In More Than One Dimension

As a child, I was obsessed with the idea of limits, and taking things to their limits. Onward, forward, full speed ahead. I wanted to be a grown up, tomorrow could never come soon enough. Is it my birthday yet? I bet if I kept trying, I could be stronger, faster, smarter than anyone.

As a teenager, I began to understand that there were some times and places within social interactions and interpersonal relationships that called for restraint. I mistakenly believed I had shattered past some limit, left civilization behind me in the dust, and I was lost, wandering some strange frontier that other people did not understand or feel any inclination to explore… maybe they were all cowards; cowards who never dared.

As an adult, I have come to appreciate the benefits of nuance and finesse. Where once there was a forward-backwards dichotomy, I am now aware of all the other directions available to me: up, down, left, right, and I am learning to maneuver through them skillfully even as I fight off the constant disorientation forced upon me by that one dimension outside my own control: ubiquitous and elusive time, which seems to march ever-forward at a steady, unrelenting pace, begging no forgiveness and putting my own misguided adolescent exertions to shame.

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